In March of 2009, my best friend and I took our first cruise. We went to Key West, Fl and Cozumel, Mexico. This was both of our first time traveling out of the country. I am a serious packer and I had my zebra printed luggage all set. My carry-on was filled with travel sized bathroom necessities and a full change of clothes in case my checked bag somehow didn't make on the ship with me.
We got to the Kansas City International airport at about 7AM and when we got to our terminal the TSA officer at the gate confiscated my face cream. It was a 6 oz jar but it was half empty so I figured that counted as the 3 oz travel size. Not so much. So sans my much need moisturizer, we boarded our plane headed for Fort Lauderdale's airport. We had a layover in Atlanta. We sang John Legend's "Green Light" and danced in our seats for about 30 minutes. I don't think the other passengers appreciated that.
After getting our checked bags (thank God) from the luggage carousel we were met by the Carnival cruise rep to take us to our transfer shuttle. My best friend casually asked, "Are you taking us to the boat?" With a thick, unknown accent and a sneer the rep replied, "It is not a boat! It is a SHIP!" I slowly took two steps away from her and mouthed, "I"m not with her", before I remembered she had the transfer vouchers. I thought he was going to take off his white glove and slap her with it signaling a challenge to a duel. We climbed aboard the crowded shuttle and were whisked fairly quickly through the streets of Fort Lauderdale to the port. I was astonished at the size of the ship. I'd never seen one up close. As we were going through the entry point we spotted our luggage being loaded onto the ship by the handlers. It's pretty easy to spot zebra and giraffe print luggage even from four stories up.
After taking care of the financial business we headed to our cabin and found it to be quite small. We'd paid for the basic room but my best friend is a plus-sized lady and she had to put one foot in the shower to sit on the toilet. The sleeping area was fine and it was spotless so we managed. We wandered around the ship and stumbled upon the spa. Okay, we're on vacation...let's do it! We got a couple's massage and it was fantastic. We sat at the bar having a drink afterwards and then found a bite to eat. We walked all over until we had found the dining room, swimming pool with slides, theater where the shows are performed, clubs, casino and Patisserie. For those of you that don't know - a Patisserie is a fancy-schmancy french word for bakery. I gained five pounds after making that discovery. We later headed for dinner and were sat with a lesbian couple, two best friends from New York that reminded me of cast members from "Jersey Shore" and a granddaughter/grandmother combo. We all got along great, ate like we were never going to do that again, worked our waiter to the bone and tipped him generously.
The next day we docked at the port in Key West. We rode the tram into town and walked all over Duvall Street after I stopped at the local pharmacy for moisturizer. We tried on bathing suits, bought souvenirs, shot glasses and proceeded to spend two hours in the Coach outlet store. We literally had to run down Duvall to catch the last tram back to the ship. Everyone was singing and laughing on the way back. Did I mention we were docked at a US military ship yard? Upon arriving back at the entrance gate we were met by naval officers armed with M-16s checking everyone for their ID and ship cards. That was the ultimate mute button on the singing.
The next day I was feeling fine and fancy when we docked in Cozumel, Mexico. We wore our bathing suits under a sundress and a sarong. We bought liquor and cigars at the duty-free shops and caught a taxi into town. We walked all over sampling tequila, haggling down prices and had lunch at rooftop restaurant. Our shrimp dishes were so fresh I wanted to take some back home with me. Several shots of tequila, 4 frozen drinks and too many limes to count later we staggered back to the taxi stand and went to the beach. We stayed until dusk and then took another taxi back to the port area where two college-aged girls were working a pole-like palm tree for tips inside an open air Ruby Tuesday restaurant. The funniest thing we saw was a group of rickshaws hauling people to drunk to walk back across the 100 foot long pier to the ship.
The last day was a full day on board the ship. We ate breakfast near the rails and looked out at the vast ocean. We browsed the shops and hung out int he hot tubs on the lido deck. After much debate I taught my best friend how to play Blackjack in the casino and she came out $5 richer. We took in a great show at the theater and signed up for some drunken karaoke.
The next morning arrived at the port in Miami, FL and took our shuttle to the airport. Our flight wasn't for another 3 hours so we tied our shoelaces to our luggage and slept for about 1 1/2 hours. We woke up, grabbed a bite and headed for our plane home.
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